Whenhefalls,hefallshard,andhedoesnotbothertogetbakup,justthrowshisheadbakandughs.He’sstillughingbythetimethatHarrygetsbak,beauseeventhoughhehadhurthimselfevenmoreinthefall,partofhimmusthavedonethisassomesikformofpunishment,beausehehadknownfromthebeginningthatthiswastheonlypossibleresult.
“Jesus.”Harryswearsoften,buthedoesn’tnow,justdropsthebagofyarnandbooksandookiesthathehadbeenholdingandsprintsdownthehallwaytohim,skiddingthestthreefeetinhissoks.“Whatthehellhappened,Drao?”
He’snotgoodatbeingsoft,Harry.He’smorewildfirethanandlelight,allhurrianewithoutthegentlerainfall.Whenhe’sbeingdramatiandmenholy,Draolikestotellhimselfthatitisn’tabadwaytogoout,beingburnedupbysomeoneelse’sloveforyou.
“Iwantedtoomedownhere.”Itsoundedstupidwhenhesaysitoutloud.Allbaddeisionssoundstupidwhenyouspendthebetterpartofthehouryingontheoldfloor.“ThoughtIoulddoit.”
“Didyou?”Harryughs,findingitfunnynowthatitwaslearthatDraohadnothurthimself,andheseemstoseeDraoforthefirsttime,andswears,softly,likeitwasmoreofanexhalethananexmation.“Merlin,Drao.”HeletsgoofhimandDraohastoleanontothewallforsupport,hunhinginonhimselfinordertohide,beausehedidnotlikethewaythatHarrywasstaring.“Yourhest.”
“It’snothing.”Draorossedhisarmsoverhimself,tryingtooverasmuhskinasheould.Heknewwhathelookedlike—hadseenthebruisesfromthebriefgnesinthemirror,thesabsandthesrapsandthebitsofskinthathebeenrippedatawkwardedges,howpalehewas,thehollowsunderhhisribs,thesarsrossinghisarmsandstomahandurlingoverhisshoulders—andknewthatifhehadthehoie,Harrywouldnotbeseeingit.Nowthathetakesamomenttothinkaboutit,DraothinksthisisthefirsttimethatHarryhadgottenthehanetolookathimwithenoughlighttoreallysee,andeventhoughHarryhadknown(musthaveknown),yououldnotreallyprepareyourselfforwrekagelikethiswhenahumanbeingisonerned.“Theysaiditwouldheal.”
(Heal,butnotdisappear.Thepotionswillknityoubaktogetherbutthesarswillstillbethere.)
(Hedoesn’tare.Idon’tare.)
(Youdo.)
“Drao.”HarryreahesoutandpushesDrao’shandsaway,gentleenoughthatifhereallywantedto,Draoouldhavekepttheminpe,buthedoesn’t,justletsthemdriftofftohissides.“God,Drao.”
Harry’sbreathhitheslikehehadbeenaughtoffguardbythesightalloveragain,andDraoloseshiseyes,tippinghisheadbaktorestagainstthewallasHarry’shandstraeoverhisutsandbruisesandtornupskin,beausehedidnotwanttolookatHarrylookingathim,notwhenit’slikethis.“This,”Harrysays,atrembleinhisvoie,andhishandsarefollowingaspeifisetofsarsnow,oldones,onesthatDraohadspentsomanyhoursstaringatthatheouldalluptheimageinhismind.“Thesearefromme.”
Hemightberying.Draodoesn’tlook,justmovestoathatHarry’swristsandkeephishandsinpe,beauseheknewwithoutbeingtoldthatHarrywasthinkingofrunningaway.It’swhathealwaysdoes,whenhethinksthathehashurtsomeone.
“Merlin,”Harrysaysagain,likeit’sallheanthinktosay,andheissolosethatDraoanfeelthewordbreathedoutagainsthisshoulder.Harry’shandsarelyingftarosshisstomahnow,fingersthesilversarsthatarerissrossingoverhishest,likeheouldmakethemmeltawayifheheldonlongenough,fingersalmostdisappearinginthedipsbetweenDrao’sribs.“LookwhatIdidtoyou.”