“Ian’thelpbutthink,hadthingsgonedifferently,”Harryrambled,hiswordstrailingoff.Hestoodupstraighter,pushinghimselfoffthewall.“Youwouldhavemadeabloodygoodpotionsmaster,Malfoy.IthinkIwouldhaveratherlikedthat.Itdoesn’tfeelright,beingbakherewithoutyoutellingmewhatatwatIam.”Potter’svoiequaveredashefinished.
Draolethimselfslumpagainstthewall.Hespedahandoverhismouthtokeepanynoisefromesaping.Hewasdreaming,hehadtobe,beauseifwhathewaswathingwasthetruth,heouldn’tbearit.Heouldn’tbeartoknowHarryPotter,themanattheenterofalmosteverythoughtthatorbitedhismind,missedhim.Missedhimenoughtotalktoalokeddoorinaseeminglyemptyhallway,andheouldn’tdoanythingtohelphim.
JustwhenDraothoughtheouldn’ttakemuhmoreofit,Potteroveredhiseyeswithhishand.
“Fuk,”Pottersaid,turningsohisbakwasagainstthedoorway,slidingdownuntilhewassatontheground.Draoouldseeeveninthedimlighttheothermanhadtearsrunningdownhisheeks.“Idon’tknowhowtogetpastyou.Ididn’tevenknowyouweresomeonetogetpast.”
Potterfellsilent,apartfromhisirregurbreathingandoasionalsniffles.Hesatthereforwhatfeltlikeaneternitybutmusthaveonlybeenfiveminutes,thenhebegantoollethimself,liftinghisgssestowipehiseyeswithhissleeve.Hestoodquietly,lookingattheentrywayonemore,shakinghisheadandbeganwalkingtowardsDrao.
Therewasnothingthatwaythatanyoneusedanymore,unlesshewantedareallyroundaboutwayofgettingtothekithen,orthestairstothekithen,or—thatwasit.Snape’soffie.MGonagallhadgivenhimSnape’soffie.
Draostoodstill,barelybreathing,untilheouldn’tseeorhearPotterwalkingawayanymore,andthenwaitedabeatafterthatjusttobesure.Hehurriedtothedoor,whisperingthepasswordasquiklyasheouldandsteppinginside,willingthedoortoloseupbehindhimmorequikly.
Heolpsedagainstthedoor.Somethingaboutthewholeordealmadehimwanttough.Potterhadbeenbakforlessthanadayand,already,thingswerebaktothewaytheywere.PotterwasuptosomethingandDraowastakingdetailedmentalnotesonhim.Inshool,heneverwouldhaveowneduptoit,butwithnoonetofool,hewouldadmitnowthathespentmostofhistimewathingPotterwhentheotherboythoughthewasn’tbeingwathed.HeusedtellhimselfitwasbeauseinformationonHarrygothimalongwaywithhisfather,buthehadn’tevenonvinedhimselfwiththatone.Mostlybeausehespentmoretimefabriatinginformationforhisfatherandseretingawaytherealthingshesawbeausehelikedthembetterwhentheybelongedjusttohim.Deepdowninattheoreofhisbeing,therehadalwaysbeenalongingtobelosertoHarry,touandhimfurtherthantheywayshisfamilyhadtaughthimto.
NowhewaswathingPotter,simplybeauseitwaswhathehadalwaysdone.Draohadmissedit.Hisvoiehadhangedabit,deeperthanherememberedit,butstillHarry.Draohukledtohimself,leaninghisheadbakagainstthestone.AllofPotterhadhangedabit.Hishairwasstillamess,messier,ifpossible,andstilljustasmaddeningasithadbeeninshool.HestillworethoseridiulousirurwirerimmedgssesthatDraodoubtedhadeverreallybeeninfashion,buttheywereabitmoreexpensive-lookingnow.Hislothesfitbetterthantheyeverhadinshool,afatDraoouldn’tategorizeasbetterorworsebeauseheouldseejusthowfitPotterwas,whihwasvery.Hewasstillshort,oratleastshorterthanDrao.ThesttimehehadseenHarry,hehadonlyhadabouthalfaninhonhim,buthehadgrownnearlythreeinhestheyearhe“died,”mathinghisfather’ssixfootstature.HeknewthatwouldhavebotheredHarry,ifheouldhaveseen.
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